Rubbish I Did This Week

For the past two weeks I’ve been trying to alter how I work a little bit, especially at Destructoid. I’ve made an effort to write less daily news posts, and do more original work. No hard-hitting journalism (pfft), but interesting observations, things to get people talking, and that sort of shit. I’ve been trying to see opportunities for articles that people wouldn’t ordinarily think of, and I feel it’s been paying off. 

This week, I’ve written about a few diverse subjects. The big one was that whole fighting game community sexual harassment deal. It’s interesting how many FGC members saw it as an attack, which it certainly wasn’t supposed to be. I still maintain that I was impressed by how many FGC members stood up and said, “This behavior isn’t what we’re into.” Still, there were many others trying to push the stereotype that the FGC is into that, which was quite sad. In any case, interesting discussions were had, I think.

Although many people challenged me to write more about the FGC, the amount of people who quite venomously don’t want any mainstream coverage puts me quite off. 

I had more fun writing about Blades of Time, a game that’s releasing next week and that Konami has almost entirely refused to promote. When you find out some of the game’s details, and just how little the title’s been acknowledged, it’s quite amazing. Speaking of which, I also responded to the astounding level of backlash Konami’s getting for Silent Hill: Book of Memories. People are viciously dogpiling on that, and I can’t say I’m totally shocked. It’s a weird departure for the series, though I’ll keep my fingers crossed for a good game. Finally, I poked fun at myself and fellow reviewers for using the word “experience” way too much when writing. 

That’s an example of the kind of thing I want to start bringing more of to Destructoid. Not news posts, and not exactly features. Just interesting things I’ve noticed, be they humorous or serious. It’s certainly been rewarding bringing more individual content to the site. 

That’s not all I did at Dtoid this week. Reviews went up for Binary Domain and Journey. Liked ‘em both! It’s been a long time since I’ve had a “review controversy,” and I am rather enjoying the respite. Even my negative reviews lately have only had one or two lunatics throwing around accusations. I wonder how long the calm will last. 

Oh, and then there’s Podtoid, of course. 

I won’t go through everything I did for GameFront, as there’s a lot, but I did a nice thing about Facebook gaming this week. I have a really passionate article prepared but it’s not been published yet. Hoping it goes up today. 

Let’s round things out with this week’s Jimquisition, which proved to be quite the tongue-wagger. It was a simple reading of the Mass Effect 3 erotic fan fiction I wrote, parodying the drama over gay romance options in the game. I didn’t quite expect discussion to explode so readily, and I didn’t expect to be so shocked by some of the responses. The next Jimquisition will continue the discussion, and it’s going to be quite spirited. 

So that’ll be fun!

One Million Morons

One Million Moms is all upset because some Toys R’ Us stores are selling an Archie comic with a picture of a same-sex marriage on the front cover. OH NOS! I love this comment from the group though:

This is the last place a parent would expect to be confronted with questions from their children on topics that are too complicated for them to understand. 

I love it because I choose to read it as the parents being the ones who cannot understand such a “complex” issue as same-sex marriage. This is clearly the case, since a fucking idiot can grasp the concept of homosexuality, and it doesn’t take an educated professor to explain what it is. It is only complicated to morons, such as the spokespeople for One Million Moms, who think TELLING KIDS FACTS IS SO HURRRRD!

If your chief concern with any subject is the fear that you’re going to be asked a question by your own kid, you are an unfit parent and a fucking selfish person, to boot. Your child is curious, it deserves to know about the world, and your responsibility, as a parent, is to let your kid know about it, to prepare him or her for it, AND to let that child have all the facts with which to form its individual view of the world. To provide any less is to do your child a disservice. It disgusts me that One Million Moms criticizes Toys R’ Us for not being “responsible,” when it’s doing more to educate kids about reality than these bullshit parents are. 

A child lives in my house. He is my stepson. He’s currently eight years old and he perfectly understands what homosexuality is. He knows this because his mother explained it to him, which was about as difficult as explaining how to spell “dog.” If the concept of homosexuality is so complex that you do not know how to describe it to a child, then what the fuck are you doing with a kid in the first place? I don’t think you have the mental faculties to raise one correctly. 

Ironically, comments such as these typically come from conservative Christians (which OMM is certainly made up of), who think explaining a gay marriage is too complex, yet have no problem telling a child that an omniscient deity caused a virgin to give birth to a magical son who was also the deity so that he could grow up to be killed in order to exploit a loophole in a rule laid forth by the deity that could have been abolished if the deity so willed it but he didn’t for reasons unexplained, so instead gave birth to himself so he could trick people into killing him so that he didn’t have to kill the people he tricked into killing him. 

And THAT, according to this offshoot of the uber-Christian American Family Association, is simpler than just telling a kid, “Sometimes a man or woman can fall in love with another man or woman. It happens. There you go.”

I’m not one to get emotional about children, usually, but I actually felt tears welling in my eyes last night when my stepson said, “I don’t hate anyone. I don’t hate gay people, I don’t hate black people.” I couldn’t be more happy to hear a child in Mississippi say that. That’s the start of a good person right there. 

Hey, One Million Moms? Yeah, my kid’s better than your kids. I know this for a fact, because he’s not been raised by a fucking dumbass and at eight years old he’s more reasonable and intelligent than you, as ADULTS, are. 

I feel sorry for the sheltered children you are raising to be as dumb as you are.

The Cowardice of Gay Marriage Haters

I’d have more respect for anybody who says they “just hate gay people” than anybody who tries to masquerade their opposition of gay marriage as something noble and righteous. Just fucking admit it — you’re a bigoted asshole who doesn’t want gay people to do anything that you think is “normal”, because you’re terrified of the idea that gay people DO have the same feelings and thoughts as you do. You’re scared of that, because to humanize a gay person is to accept that they are human, and that means they are like you. 

Don’t get me wrong — homophobia is the mark of somebody with all the personality of a chimp’s severed penis, but I would still respect an outright, outspoken, unashamed homophobe over someone like Mitt Romney, who IS a homophobic little turd, but tries to dress it up by claiming he’s attempting to “protect marriage.” As if the straight people haven’t turned marriage into little more than a commercialized joke. As if marriage didn’t start out as little more than subjugation and ownership of one gender by another. 

If your concern is keeping the “sanctity” of marriage, well — I am married, and I’m an atheist. In fact, the man who married my wife (who is an atheist) and I was ALSO an atheist. We got married in a Ruby Tuesday because it was close to our house and they used to have bison burger, and I would always sneak in an “M” while ordering, so that I said “M. Bison Burger.” I got married in a restaurant because I like to make forced Street Fighter references in public. How’s that for fuckin’ sacred?

If your concern is respecting marriage as a religious institution between a man and a woman, why aren’t you raping people? Because there’s lots of that in the Bible. Why aren’t you fucking your sister? There’s some of that, too. Why are you eating shrimp, you disgusting heathen? Bible says no shrimp, so stop with the shrimp!

If your concern is keeping marriage respected (as if gay marriage undermines that somehow), then what are those divorces? What are all those people getting married just because somebody got pregnant and felt pressured into it by families and societal sensibilities? Is that really respecting your precious fucking institution? Is it? Really? Really? Really? Really? Really? 

If your concern is that gay marriage is not “natural,” then just shut the fuck up, you lunatic. Straight marriage isn’t “natural.” I don’t see any rhesus monkeys getting married. If I went to a pond, I wouldn’t see a little toad vicar presiding over two toads in a dress and a tuxedo. Also, if your concern is in humans doing only natural things, then take off your damn clothes, destroy your damn television, leave your damn house and go live in the forest. Live in the forest, naked, eating wet leaves and bits of rabbit shit, because your house, clothes, car, and everything else artificially processed for you isn’t exactly natural, is it? 

Or better yet, drop the ridiculous excuses and just admit you hate gay people. I’ll still think you’re a cunt, but I won’t think you’re a coward on top of it.